These shirts are the keystone to a huge new future, an empire for all of us. I am going to create an influence free business, without the traditional hooks of debt and compromise that bog so many automotive companies into mediocrity.
Now before you naysayers, curmudgeons, and harrumphers start up, this is what you are getting:
These are the best T-shirts money can buy.
Colorfast, 100% pre shrunk cotton, double needle stitching and flawless weave, super thick heavy vinyl based ink logo that is SURE to remain unblemished for a VERY long time.
This shirt wont hit the rag bin for a loooong time to come!
I don’t do second rate anything!
Just ask Connie!!!
“TAKE OFF, EH! Yah, it’s still a t-shirt, ya NEWFIE!!
(Translation provided courtesy of The Confused Trans-Border Linguistics Council for Nontravelling Sissies)
WRONG, BUCKY!
These fine quality garments, these shirts are tested and proven to have that ‘special something’ that only your good friend, DA Rev. can pervide!!
!!!BEHOLD!!!
These shirts are invested, infused, and enchanted with the most potent of all mojos! These shirts are coruscating with near hallucinogenic levels of Moparosterone,
these shirts positively radiate with HEMIness!
Need proof there, PeeWee?
We Gotcha Covered!
Case History of Morty Collins:
See this fine specimen of adult manhood? He once lusted after Phord Forcuses! The girlfriends of anorexic midgets would kick sand in his face at the beach. Amazonian Priestesses have diapered him repeatedly in public.
He was laughed out of every gym, YMCA, and gymboree east of the Mississippi!
Here he is …a 5 foot sack of sad with teeny man-boobies.
